I FEEEL THE LOVE!

aww miss stefani ! ur sooo helpful
i feel supported.
i havent lost any lb's
not that i look bad or anything.
i just feel like i would
be happier and healthier with the weight loss.
Ive never had an issue getting guys
i just feel as though im looked at more sexually
than just a beautiful girl a guy would want to date.
like i honestly have never ever been on a date
but ive had sex several times.
i know i know thats my own fualt but still
like i think it's becuase im so thick guys just see me as
a piece of meat or like a fantasy oppossed to a nice girl
they would want to get to know.
im thinking the weight loss would probaly help?

doing the damn thing

okay so I got all a's and one b = 4.25 for final report card
got a job ;)
which also means getting money =]
will be taking my drivers test soon = getting car
only thing now is losing like 20 lbs and possibly toning up
if i do that my life will be compleeeeete =]
i don't even need a boyfriend im content with myself for now ;)

Just Me

I don't write on here anymore nor do I necessarily want to write on here ne more. I just needed somewhere to write for the moment and didn't feel like picking up pen and paper.The computer is always more convienant. I asked my bestfriend at that to tell me everything negative about me. No I'm not depressed or sad i just wanted to know from someone who I trust and know loves me. She said " You can be clingy at time && a computer head.. you seem needy sometimes && act like you dk what to do w/ urslf && THE VOICE(i get this scared baby voice everytime i talk to new people), you always complain you don't have good clothes cus ur big or you cnt dress && then you try on my clothes && leave them on the floor, I cant do nething but sigh for you . Like me nd Shelby dream of wearing rugby and polo & lacoste big shit all the time . but you like complain and whine & i try , i really do, to help nd lift your spirits up, but im tired b/c it's becoming a cycle && it's annoying. Youre pretty, but you always want what someone else has , it's like ur never satisfied w/ yourself && I try to help you but my patience is gettn low cus idk what 2 do w/ you."

i really appreciate her telling me all this . Not that she wouldnt tell me all this becuase she does nothing but keep it 100 percent honest but sometimes it's like i relally don't know what to do with myself. I ride the train and feel so uncomfortable in the crowd of people. I'm not confident inmyself and I'm very insecure. and I ALWAYS want what someone else has and i dn't have ne backbone and i cling to everything i feel I love becuase i dn't want it to leave me or go away... idk i mean i feel change coming for me . Im soon to be in the 12th grade this upcoming fall . I got one year to get all the bullshit out of my system before college hopefully i take full advantage of it.

Till then I'll practice on learning to love and to like and to deal with JUST ME.

IDIOT

I am lost.
Scared and lost.
I want to float.
To float away.
Stupid girl.
stupid stupid girl.

CyberLife-link

I remember being about 12 or 13
and having my own computer in my room
I discoverd I.M.'ing on yahoo and aim
and chat rooms and forums and I was totally
addicted to the computer
like i was seriously an addict
I would sit there and not eat or sleep hardly
and just sit and stare @ the computer for hours
non stop
no matter the headaches or the stomach growls
or homework or school i would be there
glued to that computer screen.
As summer of 8th grade to the beginning of 9th
i had no access to a computer
so i learned to last without one
only using it when i visited librarys etc. etc.
and that winged me off of it for a long time my entire
9th and partly 10th grade year i got better at
using the computer
I began to do my homeowrk more
and began to eat like a normal human being
participate in things etc etc..
but towards the end of my 10th grade year
mainly this summer i felt it creeping back
the ADDICTION .
i knooooow this is wrong i know
what im doing and ill still put off
school work to check my facebook page
and just I.M.'ing people to webcam
Shit right now @ this very moment
ive had an entire week to do
these chapter questions and essays
and study for this test tommorrw
and as you see im sitting here writing a blog.
it;s like i can't leave the internet and
web communication things alone
and what makes it worse is that
i HAVE to use the computer 4 this homework
which causes me temptations ....
uggggggggggh
my cyberlife-link.



my name is Morgan and im a
computer addict .

I'm Baaaaaack

Hello my lil blogfiends

I am officially a junior ♥

it's been sucha loooong time

well I'm starting of this seasons blogging

sessions with a new attitude.

a new style .

a new everything.

=]

school has been hetic.

not so mch for drama but

the actual school work

ya girl i staking 3 Advanced placement courses

this year tryna get them college credits early.

ohh yeah and update--

FUCK BEING NATURAL!

lol .... it's hard work

and i don't have the time or

patience for it . maybe in my future.

( I will miss it though

*pictures of my transition and trasition back

to perm coming soon*)

Any ways I been feeling extra inspired

and do it yourselfy

so uhmmm I'll be making and altering my own

clothes for a minute.

any ways enjoy!

Trust

trust.
trust you.
I trusted you.
&& you hurt me.
you played me and you hurt me.
I am strong.
I am stronger now two days later I am not
phased by you.
I can't let you get to me .
I won't let you get to me.
I cried.
I will probaly cry some more.
but I am strong.
you lost my respect as a human .
I am sorry 4 you.
I am sorry 4 you becuase your sick .
You have to be either sick dumb or both.
But I am strong.
Stronger than you.
Stronger than this..
Stronger than the world.
everytime I am let down I am that more
determined.... that more ready to defeat you
whether it be your thoughts your actions or whatever.
... weight of the world on my shoulder
and I aint gon complain no more
Ima carry that shit becuase Ima solidier and
I am loyal to myself and i love me.
I aint never been weak I just fell off the track 4 a minute
but I always been strong I'm just starting
realize my strength.