So far gone

The Girl or The World?
someones gotta lose.




I lost.

u r HIV.......

saturday was Health fair
i have to volunteer
because im in national honor society
and i have to go to certain events.
i go
me and chris(friend) have so much fun
we got our faces painted
like kids busting in line n stuff .
feet , hand , and body massages
free everything......
Then i walk past the HIV/AIDS table.
The guy asks me have i ever been tested
i tell him no.
i am scared .
he says think about it .
it only takes 20 min.
i walk away
nicole walks me back and says DO IT!
i walk back to the table shaking and say ill take it.
i follow him down the hall to the screening room
it was like walking to a death chamber
..... i fill out a form .
it is confidential and they don't tell ur parents.
i take the mouth swab and rub it on my gums
twice on the top
twice on the bottom
he sticks it in the solution ...
then we fill out another form
he asks me y i had unprotected sex b4?
he asks me all these questions
i am nervous but i answer
I am scared.
he tells me i have 20 min,...
I walk back to the fair,
the hallway seems so long
the fair is not as fun ne more,...
20 minutes pass
the man told me not to leave until
i get the results.
i kinda dnt want them.
my ride is waiting.
i walk ... the long walk back
there r others sitting outside
filling out forms as i did
my friends mom is the administer
of the 1st form
i am embarrassed.
i walk in .... i sit down
i am HIV
NEGATIVE
he finishes my form and gives me a copy.
----------------------------------
After this test I feel liberated
inspired even.
Me and Victor (tester)
had a good talk .
I want to Wrap it up no doubt.
and I want to get tested
4 utha shit now.
=]
I wanna spread the word
soooo
IT"S IMPORTANT TO GET TESTED
EVERY 6 MONTHS
NO MATTER UR AGE
WHO U ARE
WHAT YOU DO
WHO YOUR HAVING SEX WITH
OR HOW SAFE U THINK YOU ARE
I want you guys to know i support everyone
who has the courage to go out and do it
and my heart goes out to those who are infected
as well as with other STDS and to those who
are too cared to go out and do it.
.. bring a friend and gt testd together=]
our black people r suffering

Fucked up..once again

Damn,,
my bitch just told me to
watch my lil bro .. I was
... thats when the lady from across the hall( stepmom)
came down and her and my bitch were talking so i went upstairs
and left my lil bro with them.
..... no more than 15 min later
all I hear is screamin and wailin
the lady from across the hall is sprawled
across the floor with my lil bro in arm
his mouth is bloody and he's crying
....... Dad scoops him and tells her none of his teeth r out.
he fell to the ground after climbing on top of his stroller
hit his mouth now one of his teeth r jammed in his gums
it's been 3 days since..
he seems to be find now
but hi front tooth looks so fucked...
ugggggh it's all my fualt.
the lady from across the hall thinks it's her fualt
she doesnt know i was suppossed to b watching him...
I feel shitty cusz i know i could have stopped him
Real good job Morgan
fuck up ur trust somemore.

I am ..

I am the one who sits alone

at the lunch table sipping chocolate milk

watching everyone laugh with their friends.

The one that carries all those heavy books

for all her advanced classes and rushes to class

for she has noone to converse with in the hall

and fear of being caught in hall sweep.

i am the girl that gets ohh so nervous in front of

boys and can't stop smiling ...

I am the one who's quiet in the group

and lets all her friends do the talking

I am the one who's too chubby and fat to shop 4 clothes

I am the one who just cries

becuase I'm scared of life

I dnt feel these ways all the
time and I've grown up a lot
and changed in many ways but I am still this girl
I haven't forgotten what I used to be.

Fuck Friends

I wish a guy would want me for more than

just to fuck..

more than just to lay between my thighs

more than just his fuck friend

and whatever the hell else ..

I wish he would want me because he needs me.

He needs me around to make his day and my smile

would lighten up his world.

Our conversation would have so much meaning

so many feelings

genuine sweet feelings.

he wouldn't have to love me but he would care about me .

not just about how i look and how phat my butt is .

or even how rough and fast i like it...

i wish a guy would want me for more than just to fuck .

more than just his fuck friend...

Not Rockin

Wtf?
so nalani hooks me up with juan
as mentioned before....
but remind you guys that i rarely seen him in school
the face just looked familiar.

Soooo Springbreak is over
been talking to Juan a couple days we
agree to c each other in school...
WTF! I see this nigga he short as shit look little as shit.
Lil ass 10 year old looking boy
and he a junior
ohh hell no .

I aint Rockin..


Ummmm the Zo thing is a figment
of my imagination
he texts me bt when i txt back
he gives no further reply
... sooo we nt talking ne more? I guess =/

Geesh I can't leave them previous niggas alone
I hate that my resisitance is so loooow
there like kryptonite to my SuperWomaness lmao

Well this is another quickie 1st period is almost over
Love you guys MUUUUUAH

been gone for a minute

the yelnats and i have officially ended everything
no contact whats so ever
the myspace dead
text dead
calls dead
seeing each other ... extra dead

can you believe
his baby mother told her mother
about the baby and she kicked her out
yelnats mother not wanting her
grandchild on the streets let her move in with them

you damn right i stopped talking to his ass lol
but it was mutual ...

soooo i chilled with zo ... finally
got kinda ... well alota physical ....
lol .... but umm for the most part
i enjoyed it and we cool.

ummm gotta new joint
named
juan
.... well i dk where this is gonna go
but he cool as shit..
and he funny as all outdoors.
only2 problems
he attends the same school as me
and we the same height....

smoove jesus sandals and flipflops 4 me lls
...... tired of short niggas approaching me
geesh

i mean yelnats and all the utha were tall bt
recently i been getting the midget macs...

ummm other news
hair has been natural 4
3 months .. grew 2 inches lls
as well as i did major spring shopping
still got things i wanna get ...
Overall Spring break was good
mom loafed on me again
but im good
got to visit my real family

Things to talk about soon

--Zo
--Juan
--Hair
--School/grades
--Clothes
--ME ♥
just a quickie 4 my digestees